sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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