Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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