I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
