FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize