As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
