this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
