brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
