Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
