Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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