if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
