I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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