I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
