I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
