Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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