do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cannot find my penis.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
