No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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