This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
