I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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