I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
