The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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