Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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