i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize