taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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