I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
