Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize