No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
