I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
