i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
