Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I need help removing her.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
