Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
