he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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