I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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