Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
jump out the window naked night went bad
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize