so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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