My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
whose ass print is on the piano?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
