I wanna bring you to show and tell
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize