if you like me you must not know who I am
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize