I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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