"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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