woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
