I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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