epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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