I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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