I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i think i just lost a toe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
