is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize