my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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