I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
