We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
