So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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