The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
