So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
