i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
