I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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