I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
