found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
