Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
