One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
