i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
