I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
