How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
