I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
