Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
