She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
