Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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