We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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