It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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